This has really been a wild week in so many ways. A major thing is happening in our family's life right now and has come to a head. It is not my story to tell at this time but we will be praising God no matter how this all turns out. I am human. I worry. I do that better than almost anything. I have a PHD in it. So I worry about everything and worrying is a prayer to the wrong God. A youth minister I had in high school told me that. So the family issues cannot be shared right now we know in our hearts that He is in charge but my brain still keeps putting in those little doubts even though heart tells me there is no point. Lay it at Jesus' feet and let go. F.R.O.G. Fully rely on God.
America has disappointed me so badly. I never thought I would see us at this point. But when you make a conscience choice to kick God out of the country politics and standards it's not going to go very well. I wish more people knew that. But we have gotten farther and farther away from what this country was founded on in the many past administrations. My opinion is that it is NOT any administration's fault. It is the fault of us Christians who merely shook our heads at what the latest "fad" to hit our lives and absorbed it into some hidden place in our minds. That we never visit. That we choose to ignore. That we have let take over in the past years while shaking our collective heads in disbelief. I will take that blame. I will carry that on my shoulders as one who kept shaking my head until the problems are now insurmountable. "Be still and know that I am God." "I will never leave you or forsake you." So there it is. Is it too late? With God all things are possible. And that is faith. The things we cannot see but hold true in our hearts with the knowledge that one day our faith will be our eyes. But until then we will see our country and our government disintegrate into the darkness. Too much debt. Too many freebies. Too many ways to look away. Too many ways to complain and do nothing about. Too many things I should have done but didn't. I blissfully protected myself as outlined in an earlier blog. The last 6 months I have changed. I welcome the knowledge now. And the exposure. And the heartbreak. My eyes no longer have on rose colored glasses to protect them from the evils of this world. I am ready to face. And to fight and to rely on God to guide me in the direction I must take. God bless America and her leaders. God knows they need prayer. Somehow I don't think President Obama calls the Rev. Billy Graham before making a big decision. I just don't see it. So pray. Constantly. On bended knee and let's bring back the glory that was once our beloved country.
I'm not sure how many read this blog but if you do it out of love for me (my family and beloved friends) then you know that we lost our sweet Rosie this week. Quickly. Without warning. And her Mom and Daddy are crushed. Her Mom Cinnamon is bearing it without Eddie (who is currently overseas) but the thousands of friends Rosie made over the past year and a half are all walking through it with her. If you are not aware of Rosie's story please educate yourself. Type "Everything Rosie" into your search engine and it will pull up this precious little dog's story. For a long time I tried to avoid Rosie on Facebook. I really didn't know what she was. A pig? A joke? Some mutated experiment gone bad? As stated in an earlier blog, I protect myself from many things due to my depression. I hide my head in the sand and will my mind to block out the things that will lead me in to darkness. The darkness this world has so much of. One day I bit the bullet and researched Rosie. She is a chihuahua. From a puppy mill. Where loads of dogs were hoarded. And she did not resemble a dog at all. I fell in love with that tiny pink dog the moment I allowed her in to my heart and opened my mind to something I could not protect myself from any longer. She touched me. And so did her misfit brothers and sisters who were rescues. Without total mobility. Without legs. Because of puppy mills. I was head over heels. Rosie lived in Malibu. I live in Texas. But we flew out to California in 2012 to spend time with beloved relatives and "adopted" children. I contacted Rosie's mom. I felt like a heel for doing it. I put her on the spot. I asked if there were any way at all I could meet her and feel that little pink dog in my arms. Close to my heart. And hold her for all she was worth. I felt so intrusive. But Cinnamon said yes and I was thrilled. So on October 7th, 2012 I met Cinnamon. Mom to the most remarkable dog. And Rosie. And I loved on her. I felt her little broken body in my arms and kissed her sweet hairless skin and I was enchanted. I was filled with a love I didn't know existed and I was blessed. I held her little body next to my beating heart and willed all the love and faith I felt be transferred to her tiny body. I cannot imagine what my life would be like today without Rosie in my life. Special needs animals have played a part in my life since my scoliosis surgery in 2010. A little broken doxie with wheels for back legs wanted on my lap in rehab. His owners said they never saw him behave that way and I looked at both of us that day and realized I would walk again. Maybe with aid but if that little dog could overcome then so could I. Pets mean so much to people in the world of hopelessness or merely disappointment and fear. Animals are such a good thing for the heart and soul and I thank God for those who have touched my life. So Rosie is gone. And yet, not really. Because all around the world people love her and support her mission to end puppy mills and animal hoarding. She mattered. She changed lives. She was a light in this world. And she is loved and missed.
So that is my week and blog. Finishing up Halloween decos and am starting on Christmas in the master bedroom. I am so slow now. The heart is willing but the body is weak. Pray for our country, our leaders, disagreements and hope. It's the only hope we have.