Monday, July 11, 2016

Blogging and other things.......

It's been months and months since I have blogged. I haven't been much of a blogger. Period. I think maybe if I had started in my 20s rather than my 50s (and now 61) I would have kept up much better. I used to multi task much better when my kids were young, I was a firefighter/EMT, active in many volunteer organizations. I cooked all the time, crafted and sewed all the time and had great ideas for what would be posts today. I'm semi-domestic, I guess. I loved being at home with the boys and taking care of my home and gardens. I loved being active in the community, school district and the occasional political hoo hah. It's how I got to meet President George W. Bush, Kay Bailey Hutchinson and I think Rick Perry. Twenty two years brain is old; my memory older. But as I've grown older, maybe wiser, maybe more in much has been let go. I still love to volunteer and for the time being have been on the Highland Village Police Department civilian auxiliary for the past 10 and 1/2 years. I was assistant to the Children's Minister at our church for 10 years. I became a master gardener and did volunteer work where it was needed. But things have been rough the past dozen + years and I have changed a great deal. In 2010 I had a wonderful surgery. Scoliosis surgery for a condition I was diagnosed with at 13. I wore a Milwaukee brace for 2 years and the curve in my spine became acceptable. Over the years it became an 80 degree curve, was compromising organs and I felt ready to put my back in the hands of God and get it corrected. It went great and my back is so straight and as strong as it can be for an old lady. But it was not without after surgery complications. My left leg suffered and much of it is numb, I can't feel anything on the top of my left foot and my toes have remained swollen and crooked. I had the "crookedness" corrected in 2012 but they have slowly reverted to a new design. Eleven months after my back surgery I fell and broke my hip on vacation which also messed up my left knee. Poor leg, LOL. And it all changed me to a point where I simply can't do many of the things I used to be able to do and took for granted. I still love a new recipe, to sew, crochet, knit and craft all things but I've slowed down a great deal. So I totally realized I cannot compete with the wonderful, wonderful bloggers out there who I faithfully follow and I cannot emulate them either. I thought I wanted to. We are all unique and eventually have to go the path we decided to turn down. So that is what I am doing. I will still post recipes, crafts I do, pictures of my decorating for holidays and get togethers and of course, my beautifully perfect grand daughter, my amazing crafty cockatiel ( who now has a friend) and my precious little rescue chihuahua, Howie. But I will speak my heart about issues today that mean everything to me and they will be my opinions alone. I think this will be a good "venue" to express those concerns rather than Facebook where someone is always ready to be offended, statements misunderstood and I'm tired of basically dealing with many people who have no common sense whatsoever. Do I? I think I have a good dose of it and that is what our country is sadly lacking. If anyone cares to read my blog I welcome comments, no matter what. But Facebook is so snarky I've just given up on trying to exercise my freedom of speech and expression. Unfortunately it's not so free any longer.

Last week, we in the Dallas metroplex had a very harsh blow dealt to our law enforcement officers, the Dallas Police Department and those of us who support the police in whatever way we can. It should be the beginning of the end of so much hate in America, but it is just the beginning I fear. My heart is broken as are other's. Our Dallas officers had absolutely nothing to do with the good or bad shoots that went on last week in our country. I myself will wait until all the facts are in because I no longer trust the news and certainly Facebook is the worst place to get facts.  Are there bad cops? Yes. Are there cops that need up grow up a bit before they pin on that badge? Yes. Are there those who don't trust a certain group of people? Yes. Are there cop haters? Citizens who chant "pigs in a blanket", who do we want dead now? Dead cops now. Fry 'em up like bacon"? You bet and countless other things I have heard that have thankfully flitted out of my mind. So much hate. Why do minorities hate whites and especially white cops so badly? Yes, the majority of blacks were treated badly a million years ago; it has nothing to do with now or me! Get over the hate and anger for something that happened so long ago.....I get it. But it has nothing to do with now. Are certain groups treated differently by different races? Yes, but don't paint us all with that broad brush stroke. I don't deserve it. Not all cops deserve it. Quit hating whites; quit hating blacks. Quit whining about what you don't have, what you think you are owed and go out there and make something of yourself. Become a cop! Be part of a solution instead of part of the problem. Is rioting and killing innocent police officers and each other how you deal with your anger? Just stop it. I'm tired of being blamed and hated. I'm tired of worrying about the officers I volunteer/work with. I put on my uniform and am just as much a target as the police are. People don't care anymore who they take it out on just so they can make a statement or mindlessly scream about something they probably couldn't write a paragraph about. Stop buying into the hate and stop being the problem. The "demonstration" in Minneapolis this weekend was evil. People throwing Molotov cocktails, rocks, pebbles, rebar at the officers? Do they deserve that? Do you deserve to be shot because you are trying to kill police who's hands are tied by the powers that be and our constant chastising of whites and police by our government leaders? If you came after me like that I would take it badly. Your life or mine? I will take your's and until lawbreakers, rioters, murderers, thugs, etc. are put in their place once and for all it will continue. It can be stopped by you or not. Your choice. Just stop it. Get over yourself. Protest peacefully. Go to your city leaders, state and national and make your concerns known. Don't kill, don't riot, don't try to kill cops, act like a human being and change what is going on in this country. I will not stand for the hate and disrespect anymore. I will not put up with the people who choose to go off on their tangents while forgetting lives were lost in the past week. ALL lives matter. Change your anger and hate into something positive and work to make things better. I will no longer feel guilty for being white, supporting the police, making something of myself or believing in God and being a Christian.  I WILL make a difference; will YOU? Wake up and make America whole again. Come together and make our leaders bring us together instead of tearing us apart. "I refuse to see hate live while love dies."

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Falling Into Fall

Even though the temps are still hot here in north Texas, the air has changed. At least it seems that way to me. Grasping at straws.....quite possibly. LOL  But regardless, it lifts my spirit and I'll take that any day.

Fall is my favorite time of year. Opening windows after living in air conditioning for months on end and before buttoning up for the colder air of winter and the heater. The leaves on our ornamental pears begin to turn a beautiful shade of maroon, the neighbors' trees are a riot of gold and orange and the leaves begin to fall. Yard work slows down. I swear every year I'm going to have a wonderful fall veggie garden and every year it doesn't happen. I have always believed we will have better luck in the fall rather than our non existent spring that quickly melts into a hot and dry summer. One of these years I will have to follow through. Have you had a successful far garden? Texas weather can be so strange but I still have hopes of getting a garden in. Some future fall.

As the weather cools down I feel like cooking and baking more as well. When I go to the grocery store all of those gorgeous fall and fall food magazines call out to me to bring them home. And I used to be really good about rescuing a bunch, LOL.  And I have saved them. WAY too many of them so I made up my mind to no longer adopt so many holiday magazines. I was really planning on not adopting any at all. Then I went to the store on Monday. Oh, there are so many lovely magazines screaming to be tossed into my basket at the Hickory Creek Walmart. So many other Wallys have really cut back on the good selections they used to have but not at Hickory Creek.  And specialty magazines are no longer very cheap. We are talking 9.99 and 10.99 and I could have easily spent 40 or 50 dollars and come home blissful. Until it came time to find a place to squeeze them in to my hoard. And once again realize I must not bring any more home. But one did jump into my basket. I have loved all of the Taste of Home publications for many, many years. So when I saw the 2015 Halloween issue I snatched it up to thumb through. My criteria for buying a craft or cooking magazine is that it must contain at least 4 projects or recipes that I might actually make. And many times I do make those goodies. Of course, THIS issue had the most wonderfully fun recipes and craft projects, so guess what I brought home? I've picked out several recipes to fix for our October game night which we will have at our house for the family. So excited to give these a try. Double Helix Pasta Salad, Edible Atoms, Brainy Cake, Jack O Lantern Biscuits, Spellbinding Sangria???? Do I have your attention yet? Now if I can just resist Thanksgiving and Christmas temptations.

 Doesn't it look delicious and fun? Really cutie craft ideas and directions as well! Do you hoard holiday magazines? Do you just snap them up or do you have a "criteria" for shelling out the bucks?  Do I need an Intervention?  Happy pre-fall y'all!!

Love Deb, Howie, Hoot and Tippi (who you will meet soon)

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Catching Up.......AGAIN!

Oh my goodness! How long has it been? And how to leave the readers hanging? Are you out there? LOL I think about the blog often and what I need to share and post and the pictures I want you to see. I think a lot! :0 So today I will catch up with our grand daughter's wonderful journey and all the other good stuff going on at The Brod Abode. Guinevere Isabella was the phone call we got that day in February. She was to be born a month early and it was a wild ride for the next few weeks. But...........

Our grand daughter, Izzy, has thrived. She is growing like babies do and she is the blessing of our lives. Our home looks like a day care center which is as it should be! She and I have been spending a great deal of time together the past few weeks. Her daddy, our youngest son Jordan, plays in an ice hockey league. In July during a game his skate got stuck in the ice while he was trying to get the puck and he broke his ankle. Now, Jordan is a stay at home dad. Our sweet daughter in law Lauren is an amazing engineer and has a wonderful job working with some of Jordan's team mates and works hard to provide for them. I myself am thrilled that one of them is able to stay at home with her at this point. Being a stay at home mom was a blessing for me beyond explanation. Oh, there were days.......we ALL know those, but the boys have always been positive about me being able to stay at home. The other grandmother and I have been dividing up time keeping her. The first couple of weeks I spent up at the kids' house but last week Lauren began dropping her off at the house which has been rejuvenating. I always felt when the boys left for their lives after high school that my life and job was basically over. Here they are 35 and 33 and I still wish every day they were home and little again. Oh there has been plenty to do all these years but that basic "mothering" emotion ingrained in me has never been able to totally let go of the empty feeling the kids leaving left me with. Now I get to temporarily be a stay at home grandma for a precious little girl and silly as it sounds, I feel whole again. And even though she was born a month early, she is a bright, inquisitive, happy little girl whom we thank the Lord for every day.

Hubby Mike and I continue to adjust to living apart due to his job in another city. We had so much rain this spring and beginning of summer and severe weather. I was worried sick about his temporary living quarters in our fifth wheel. We all survived even though a tornado did hit fairly close to where my mother lives. God took care of her that day for sure. I managed to spend a few days down at "Mike's Place" this summer and the park he lives in and Howie and I enjoyed it very much. Lots of new smells for wee Howie and he championed being a trailer mutt quite well and we had a wonderful time. Especially at the cross stitch store I discovered! So the trip helped me get to stitchin' again.

SO looking forward to fall temps that are less than the humid 90s and triple digits. It's time to start decorating for this special time of year that kicks off the holidays officially for us. I have a great deal of decluttering and organizing to do as I've fallen off the housekeeping wagon the past several months. But I look forward to the challenge of picking myself up and getting in the game again. The work separation from Mike, my mom's surgery and the early birth of Izzy were all the excuses I needed to let go of everything I used to be a perfectionist about and allow the craziness of everything we were dealt take over. Now it's time to get serious, dust myself off and celebrate my favorite time of year.

I leave you with a few pictures of Howie's and my trip to the wonderful town of Keene Texas in June. xox

Spatulas Up!!

Fancy Stitches in Cleburne Texas.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Happy New Year Part 1

Happy New Year? Part 1? Yes, I have been away for a long while and so much has happened. I'm breaking it up into 2 parts to try to explain all the crazy, wonderful and yes, painful things that have happened too. It's been crazy around the Brod Abode since the holidays and hasn't let up for a moment. But, all is good.

Once the holidays were over I always leave up our decorations until 12th Night or the Epiphany. I enjoy them so much more after the holidays it seems because there is a bit more time to relax and focus. I planned to take them down starting on the 6th. For those of you who occasionally read my occasional blogs, our family had a major challenge handed to us last summer. Hubs, Mr. Mike, who has been a pharmacist for nearly 40 years lost his job at Express Scripts. Yeppers, they just closed the entire place down in June. This put hundreds of pharmacists and pharmacy techs out of work in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. Which means those who found jobs in this area were very fortunate. Many did not, including my husby. Long story short, Walmart hired him to open a new store/pharmacy for them in the city of Grandview which is a couple of hours away from us. We bought a lovely, used 5th wheel and he moved down there on December 26 and opened the store on January 21. This has been a hard time for us. After being married for 40 plus years the separation has been a real challenge but we are surviving. So decorations have stayed up a bit longer because I don't have my ladder climbing, attic climbing monkey to help out. He does get to come home every 2 weeks but we've had quite a few interruptions in the meantime.

The first thing to happen was hip surgery for my mom on January 7th. She did very well and we are so thankful she was able to have replacement and recover so quickly. She was in the hospital for 3 days and then was able to come home. My mom, who is 81, still lives alone and does very well until all of her hip problems began a few years ago. Her quality of life definitely suffered but we finally convinced her to see a doctor and get something done. My brother took off 5 weeks from work (he's worked for American Airlines FOREVER) and stayed with Mom for 3 weeks until I took over. She did so well, improving daily and knocking OT and PT out of the park. We are so proud of her and so thankful she is getting back to her old self. She is a blast to be around and we love to do stuff together. I took her to the doctor for her 6 week check up and the doctor released her to do almost everything. Still no bending over or lifting. I had planned to come home during the days but still go back up for a few nights off and on. Mike was in that weekend so I wanted to be able to spend some time with him. But I was going back up to Mom's that night. Not ready to let go yet, LOL. And then I got a text from #2 son......... to be continued
A few Christmas pictures!

  1. Bubble lights and Salt Glazed Santa collection.

Three hours after hip replacement.

Monday, September 29, 2014

It's Me!

Time flies so very quickly. I thought after the boys were grown and gone our lives would slow down a bit and as we aged and our bodies broke down a little day by day it would be leisurely. Time still goes by at the speed of light or so it would seem. Mr. Mike is 61 and I will be 60 in 5 short months. Halloween is upon us and the decorating has begun. Christmas is right around the corner and I'm starting to plan and get ready for that.

We will have a no addition to our family in early spring. We are expecting our very first grand baby with our son and his lovely wife. We are absolutely giddy with excitement and thanksgiving. God is so good and mom and baby are doing well. I'm in a flurry of activity for that as well. Quilts, burp cloths, story books.....all occupy my mind daily and just the glory of it all fills our hearts with joy that only the Lord can bring. We are blessed and are praying for continued good health (with a bit of sickness during the day) and a healthy mom and baby next spring.

We will also be adding a tiny little boy to our animal family next month. A little male chihuahua puppy was rescued near Lubbock TX in July. Very tiny and covered in mange he was placed in veterinary care immediately by the good people of South Plains SPCA and is still in treatment for demodex mange. The vet said he had never seen so many mites and they have had a rough time getting him well. But the pictures of him have continually improved and hopefully in a month he will be ready to travel to our area. His name is Howie, he weighs approximately 5 pounds and the minute I saw his sad but sweet little face in August my heart opened up and I knew I must apply to adopt him. We were all surprised! I was the most surprised of anyone! My heart has been so dead and unfeeling since our sweet greyhound Chucky died in December. Stone cold dead. Nothing was getting in. I wanted nothing else but my sweet boy. I'm still not over the grieving process. I think when you watch a dog unexpectedly die in front of your eyes for no reason you can discern it does something to you that may never be healed. I know things I worked and witnessed in the fire service are imbedded in my soul. Things happen and you change. And hopefully adjust and don't end up with PTSS. So when I saw Howie I was amazed at the depth of my feeling. He is totally different from our greyhounds in so many ways and having a tiny dog is totally new for us! Howie's hair is still slowly but surely growing in and he is becoming very handsome but will need clothes to keep him warm. So for the first time I am shopping for cute little chihuahua clothes. He is just amazing. I can't wait to hold him for the first time. We are so thankful to his rescuer, his foster mom and the caregivers at the clinic. They saved 2 lives. 

As stated so many times in my posts before this blog is just for fun. Don't have many readers and when I vent that is probably a GOOD thing. I'm not a mommy blogger. I'm not a food blogger. I may blog about my 30 something year old kids, my pets and my passion of cast iron cooking. There is no way on this earth I can compete with the wonderful bloggers out there who bring me joy each day. They are just awesome. So I guess I'll just be a cast iron cookin', pet lovin' grandma blogger who occasionally blogs and has fun doing it! If you are on Facebook check out my pages: Challenger's Memory, A Home For Howie, The Brod Abode and Cast Iron Cookin' in a Lone Star Kitchen! You can keep up with the Howie saga, get some recipes, shop early for Christmas and share animals in need there as well. Please stop by!

Challenger *Chucky* 2002-2013

The face that thawed a grieving heart.

Safe and comfortable as can be.
Sick little boy!

Howie meets the neighbor's cat.

Howie 1 week ago.

 Lots of love from Deb, Hoot and Howie! Save an athlete......adopt a greyhound!

Thursday, August 28, 2014

New Dog Soon!

I can't believe it's been nearly 3 months since I posted! OMGosh......I thought life would slow down once that "certain age" was attained life would slow down and we will enter the golden age of relaxation and slowing down. Well, the Lord says His time is not ours and His ways are not ours and we saw that in spades this summer. So with our faith and trust in someone greater than us we have forged ahead. And been blessed in a way we weren't quite ready for but knowing someone has our backs each and every moment of every day is a comfort.

In May we were told that Mr. Mike would no longer have a job after June 27th. He has worked for Medco mail order pharmacy and then Express Scripts for the past 10 years. After working in retail for 30 years he was ready for a change. Those of you who are in retail and those of us who have worked that merry go round know of what I speak. It's daunting in this "entitled age" of which we live. Shame on people who get ugly, snarky and beyond having to wait because most pharmacies now are working with the bare minimum in staffing. It's the way of the world. If your job hasn't or wasn't outsourced at sometime be thankful you have a job. We are grateful for those who do. But back to OUR predicament.  You layoff almost several hundred pharmacists in a very short span of time everyone is looking for that coveted pharmacy job. Which we thought would never happen. The world would always need another pharmacist, right? After adding 2 pharmacy schools in the state of Texas there is an endless supply of younger and willing to settle for less pay pharmacists hitting the work force.  Long story short.....Walmart has given Mike a job. Again and we are so thankful they did even if it means working farther away than ever. So he is back to work, "training" again and we are looking at a future in which we might be separated a bit. At least until retirement and we both hit the medicare age. But he has a job and thank you Lord for that and for all the wonderful things you have given us and done for us.

And in the last blog post my heart was cracking just a little bit open regarding a new dog for our home. That really didn't go as far as I thought it might so we are still dog less. Those of you who follow me know we have done greyhound rescue for nearly 15 years. Our most loved precious boy Challenger (Chuck) passed away, suddenly, in December and our hearts were broken to bits. I have struggled daily with the loss since then. I could not rise above it because all I wanted was my boy back. I still do after 8 months. Then a picture popped up on Facebook that ripped my heart opened and in Twilight speak I "imprinted" on this sweet little dog. He is in Lubbock in their wonderful SPCA foster program up there and is undergoing treatment for demodectic mange and it will be a long road. His little face looked into my heart and soul and took my breath away. And I applied for him. And by some miracle he will be ours after his treatment is complete. It looks like it will be a couple of more months before he is ready to move so keep him in your prayers so his treatment will be successful and he will thrive with us. Everyone says "what is he" "how old is he" "where did he come from" "how much does he weigh" "will he get bigger?" Honestly I laugh and say it makes no difference to me and I have no idea how to honestly answer those questions. It doesn't matter to me. He was pitiful, he is changing right before our eyes in pictures his foster shares and I knew he needed to be part of the Brod Abode. And my friends on Facebook said there will be no shortage of babysitters for that sweet boy that everyone is in love with. And my family is excited to see him as well. So my heart went from cracked open to full of our new little man Howie. Howie and Hoot! What a "hoot" that will be and we look forward to it. So in a few weeks we will have Howie and while he doesn't come close to filling Chucky's paws but he will be so special in his own way. He will go everywhere with us but Mr. Mike did say I have to let him walk on his own 4 paws once in a while. What? Me go overboard?

My cataract surgery is over and a success. I was finally able to go back into the garden and work in the few things I was planted this year.  I had to take many weeks off but next year will be different and I'm attempting a serious fall garden here in the Lone Star State. I've always said if you don't know, then try it. You might be really surprised. So we're signing off now and hopefully blog soon.

Love from Deb and Hoot (The Crafty Cockatiel)

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Hearts Cracking Open......just a nudge

My eyes have been so weepy this week. I do not think this is from the recent cataract surgery. I'm sure it could be due to the so many changes going on in our lives right now and the difficult decisions that have to be made concerning our future. My mind has been consumed with thoughts of my sweet baby boys, now 34 and nearly 32 and the overwhelming desire to go back. And do it all over again. Because being a mom, a stay at home mom, was absolutely the best. Once the chickies started leaving the nest I was devastated. It hit me so dang hard to watch them drive off to Texas A&M in 1998 and 2001. I was devastated because they had been my life for so long. Yes, there were days I would have signed them up for a field trip to Mars. Yes, I realized quickly how much easier it was to have a job away from home than stay home with 2 little boys, 2 1/2 years apart in age. But I would not have traded it for the world. And the fact that I was a volunteer firefighter/EMT probably kept me sane during the years they were growing. When I started with the department way back in 1986 the boys were 6 and not quite 4. They loved being on the department with their Dad and me. I believe it helped shape them into the men they are today so in addition to a wonderful family and supportive husband I had a great deal of help in raising those two. And I love the way they turned out. We could not be prouder. But the days of marathon movies and popcorn in the playroom, sitting on the couch watching Rudolph in footie pajamas (they, and sometimes me) and talking about Santa Clause's soon arrival, afternoons spent in the pool together, reading stories, cooking favorite food......they are on my mind so much. Because it was a great time and sometimes I selfishly think if I had known how difficult it would be to give them up I might not have had them. I'm thankful to a husband who was able to provide so I was able to stay home with them. And for a volunteer job that kept me sharp, in those days, and the family that love them as much as their mom and dad do. I miss those days. So very very much and I wish I could go back. And have the honor of doing it all over again. While I was and am far from a perfect parent, light years far, they love me in spite of that fact. I hope. You do guys, don't you? LOL And I was just so at loose ends when they grew up and became the men they were intended to be. I did go back to work for several years and it was easier at times but I still had my good friends who understood and still do, the emptiness of an empty nest. But before they completely cut the apron strings, Mr. Mike and I took on another adventure in 1999.

So many of you know we began greyhound rescue at that time. We had our beautiful Holly Rae as our first victim. We quickly realized that WE were the lucky ones and the now grown boys adored her. She was the consummate athlete. Having raced for 5 years she was a specimen to behold. Perfect in every way. The attitude, the build, the hiking leg......hubs said it was an "athlete" thang! I told her it wasn't lady like and she did not care one whit. She was a winner until she wasn't and was put out on the streets to contract heart worms and praise God, be rescued by Greyhounds Unlimited. She quickly became my life. My kids. My best friend. I could never imagine trying to replace her. But after 5 years we walked her to the Rainbow Bridge after being diagnosed with bone cancer and we tearfully said goodbye to the first blessing of what would be three over the next several years. Emma Rose came shortly after Holly's death. She was a senior, not a winner and the most perfect little girl we could have ever hoped for. She quickly became OUR winner. I knew time was short for her and so after 2 months I adopted Challenger. Chucky for short. We didn't like his racing name, too space shuttleish, and his potty problems made me realize Chucky was an excellent name. And we battled for about a month and it was over. Because greyhounds are perfect. He and sweet Em got along and sadly we lost her to cancer after only 11 months and our hearts were broken again. But I had Chucky. And he was a mama's boy through and through and my world revolved around him to a large degree as it had with my boys. Chucky knew my heart and I his. He was my everything. He was perfect. He was loved by everyone and never set a foot wrong. Ever. We promised each other we would never leave one another. If only it had been true. There just are no words in my heart that describe what he means to me, even in death. The year he turned 11 I dreaded. We lost both our sweet girls at that age and I knew it would be true with my boy. On December 7th of 2013 I let him out in the backyard for a potty break before we took our nap. And he never came back in. It was massive. It was acute. And it ripped our hearts out of our chests like no other death had. He is with us, in his little cedar home and will be buried with me someday. Because we promised we would never be apart. And we will not. And my heart closed and I said no more. My life was over and I would not let anything back in again. Ever. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right and I still scream "why" in my head from time to time. But I was with him to the end. Please God, let him have known that. So Saturday we are faced with the 6 month anniversary of his crossing over and I have hated Saturdays for so long. June is as December was. And my heart has remained tightly closed. And I threw away the key.

A funny thing happened while I reminisced about all 3 of my sweet boys this week. Chucky has been with me. Talking to me. And I'm trying to understand what this means and is it just the loneliness or does he have someone else in mind for my life now. So many sad stories this week about animals. Especially here in Texas. Those of us who tried so hard and lost and then there are those who throw away. All 3 of our hounds were abandoned. It's the Texas way I guess but I'm thankful they weren't shot in the head and left on the road that way with 10 nursing puppies. Those puppies spoke to me when I saw them as Chucky whispered away. And I have missed him desperately thinking it is still part of a grieving process I have never experienced before with a beloved pet. And we have lost many. And they are all loved, down to the goldfish out of our koi pond and mourned. But what if I was supposed to hear something different? Could it be Chucky got louder and the puppies burst into the headlines during the same time? There have been other puppies and dogs. I've looked at them. And felt nothing for myself but love and compassion for them. But I wouldn't let them in. But not this litter. Not this story. Not the whispers. I don't know what it means but one thing I do know without doubt. My heart has cracked open. Just a nudge. And Chucky has gone back to the bridge to wait. For now. Until he whispers to me again one day. And this time I know what he is trying to do. I love you darling boy.