I am going to make a confession today. I have been on anti-depressants since 1981. I'm a lifer. Tried several times to stop but the stuff just refuses to fire correctly in my little gray cells. So I place limits on myself. I don't watch sad movies, read sad books, watch the horrible news, turn off certain commercials as quickly as I can and keep myself in a cocoon all safe and warm from the evils of this world. Evil deeds of people. The senseless abuse and murder of children. And the elderly. And the animals. I avoid it because up until recently I have had a limit. Had too. Depression is an awful thing but thank God we can keep it at bay. With little tricks. That I use so I don't spin off into somewhere I won't want to return from. That's not the exact confession I was talking about. Mike and I were out to eat one evening and he mentioned Benghazi and the "video". He was surprised I knew nothing of what he was talking about. I said that I don't watch the news. Don't want to see the sad and bad....my head is happily stuck in the sand and thank you very much. That all changed the day of the terrorist bombings in Boston. I couldn't turn the TV off. I was saturated in it all. I had opened myself up to the evilness of the world and have not been able to go back to that sandy stretch of land in which I have always stuck my silly head. I found out what Benghazi was. Long after the fact. And I was ashamed. And I cried.....I still cry to this day thinking of my woeful and deliberate ignorance. What kind of American have I been? I support our troops, I mourn about 9/11 to this day. I hug soldiers whenever I have the chance and I thank them for keeping me safe. Until this administration that is. That isn't snarky. I just don't feel safe anymore. Sometimes I wonder who is more in denial: me or our president? They are out to get us. But I digress. So I was shamed beyond belief when I found out what happened in Libya. And the epitome of sacrifice those sweet and precious souls made. And still, there is no justice. But now I know and now I care and now I annoy most of my family who tell me to turn off the tv politics and move back to the ID channel which I haven't watched much of all since April 15. I like to think I'm a better person now. Or not. Maybe just informed and steeped now in the tragedy that is our earth. Our country. My America. And now this day brings more bickering between people who aren't worth the paper they write on. All of them. I'm being snarky across the board.......no one is safe and what I thought I believed and knew has been shaken. Because I don't understand why our politicians don't listen to the American people. It's out there. Our wants and wishes. No we don't all agree but let's work together. And I will remove snark from my vocabulary. And you can marvel at my stupidity and I can scratch my head at yours. But southern bless all of our hearts. Let's take care of our own. Build up our military. Do away with racism. Racism of blacks. Of whites. Of hispanics. Who else? There is so much evil out there. Let's put money back into our nation. Stop the spending. Pay off the interest and debts America is smothered in right now. And for a long time has been. This isn't Bush. This isn't Obama. This isn't Carter. This isn't on and on and on and on. It's ALL of them. We are where we are today because of them all. Even my hero Reagan. Even my daddy's man Nixon, LOL. God created us each and everyone in His own image. Not sure what happened to some of the common sense he has bestowed on us. I've turned on TV to catch the president's address in a minute. I would love for him to get up and be a cheerleader for America. I would love to him to say we have got to work together no matter who or what. Make us believe in America and the wonderment of this beautiful country I now longer understand. Don't shut down the government Mr. President. Please. Lead us. Bring us together. Treat everyone equally because we are back to that again. And ask God's blessing on this needy, godless, unhappy and desperate country that you were voted to lead. Be a Leader. Rise above the rhetoric, the ugliness, the blame game......be a President.
Monday, September 30, 2013
The State of the Nation
As noted in previous posts I am a Christian. A Believer. A born again human being. I've often wondered what the perfect description would be. There is a deeper commitment than just believing there is a God. A relationship that is more than the simple acknowledgement of some deity. I can say I'm a Baptist. Only in the past several years. Prior to that I was non-denominational. I grew up in a Bible church but now find beliefs are not very different at all. And then you throw in southern Baptist. Oh my. The images that that conjures up. Rattle snakes, no drinking, no dancing.....many take it more seriously. I wear pants. I wear makeup. At this point in my life I need all the help I can possibly get. Denomination and the very word "religions" cause many problems and is a problem with many people. Anyway. I'm a born again Christian believer and do a shameful job each day of being Christ-like and leaning completely on Him. I try.....but not hard enough. And yet, He speaks to me. All weekend long I kept hearing "I have overcome the world" and "Be still and know that I am God". And I do believe He is gently and lovingly chastising me for going all kung fu on stuff that has already been preordained. Now, I'm not Calvinistic and I think outcomes can certainly be changed by prayer. I've seen it happen too many times to not believe. So, on this day when the fight continues in Washington over a health care plan and a government shut down, I need to sit still and know that He is God and that yes, He has overcome this world.